Chuck Ziegler III Jnr on the week in golf

DOUG 'The Drug' Barron, who'd a thunk it? Folks say he's given golf a bad game. I say he's given drugs a bad name. Sheesh, the guy only made five cuts and earned $33k. That wouldn't keep me in child support for a month! Pampling said: "Tell him to take his shirt off and ask anyone: 'Do you believe he's on performance-enhancing drugs?'" Talk about kickin' a fella when he's down, Rad!

I gotta confession to make. The house isn't in the best shape since the last Mrs Zee walked and Mr Agassi's house-cleaning revelations proved too tempting. So I mixed some amphetamines with some meths and prepared to go to work. One look at Chez Chuck the next morning and you'd know the Drugs Don't Work. Just say 'no' kids.