Going to war with the SRU over pro rugby's future made 2007 a true annus horribilis

HM THE QUEEN talked about an annus horribilis a few years back, and 2007 turned out to be that for me.

I always feel that in life you have to try things to grow and mature as a person and, hopefully, I'll be stronger for having gone through this, but how I wish I hadn't. My brother Bob and I, and Graeme Stirling, our MD, and other supporters, got involved with the Scottish Rugby Union in 2006 because we could see it had major problems finding the money and expertise to make professional rugby work in Scotland.

Every country has private finance propping up their pro game, to different degrees, and we were fortunate to be able to pool some decent resources. We were all passionate about the Scottish game, always have been, and went in honourably to do the best we could. What transpired was a complete mess.

Eighteen months ago, we sat around a table with leading SRU figures, who told us they wanted to grow pro rugby to four teams eventually, that we would help that vision and when we ran through with the deal quickly to fit the SRU's time-frame, we hoped that meant we would get support as we worked through a unique new relationship.

Instead, once in the door, we discovered the SRU had little interest in us whatsoever. The vision for four teams was quickly scrapped; it even went to considering culling pro rugby altogether and following the Argentine model and it became clear within a few months that we were little more than a place to park Edinburgh for a year while debts were paid off elsewhere. My biggest regret was persuading a lot of people, from coaches to players, sponsors to heavy investors, to get involved. I felt quite guilty as what started as an exciting rugby venture turned into a horrible political battle. Only Gordon McKie, the SRU chief executive, knows what happened in the past year. He will ultimately be judged on the reduction of debt rather than growing the game in Scotland; I still can't see what the vision for pro rugby in Scotland is. I would love to be positive now, six months on and out of it; say we tried, didn't succeed and encourage someone else to go for it, but I could never suggest anybody invested in Scottish pro rugby now.

Any commercial arrangement the SRU enter into was proven not to be worth the paper it's written on in our legal battle. It tried to impose a limit on overseas players for us, a principle we agreed with, and Glasgow are allowed 13.

As a sportsman I got into it for rugby reasons, but it's purely about finance and control for the SRU and, until that changes, I genuinely can't see professional rugby moving forward.

The SRU has a PR spin machine to send out positive messages to clubs and the media – 2007 was supposedly a 'positive' year, yet we got the wooden spoon and struggled into the World Cup quarter-finals – but McKie's vision appears all about reducing the debt.

We got crowds up more than 6,000 in the Heineken Cup and an average more than 3,000, but they are down to half of that this season. Why? Because people want a genuine product, not one controlled by a governing body which sends out a reserve team several times a season.

We had some great highs – beating Munster away, watching more than 6,000 troop in for the win over Leinster – and I am pleased to say I am booked up for the Six Nations trips to Dublin and Rome, so I've not been entirely sickened. And I'm back coaching P3s and P4s at Kirkcaldy and sponsoring the club. Life goes on – here's to a better 2008!